What you can try
The next time tension surfaces, pause before solving.
Use these four steps.
1. Observe what is happening
Describe the tension objectively.
What is happening? What patterns are emerging? What are people experiencing? What are we noticing in the work?
Focus on observations, not judgments.
2. Explore what might be underneath it
Ask what could be contributing to the tension.
Where is there ambiguity?
What assumptions are we making?
What expectations have not been made explicit?
What perspectives have not been heard?
3. Clarify what needs to become clearer
Identify the underlying issue.
Do we need role clarity? A decision? Better communication? Alignment on priorities? Shared expectations?
The goal is not to eliminate all tension. The goal is to understand what it is telling you before deciding what to do next.
4. Establish a new practice or agreement
After clarity and alignment, decide whether a new practice or agreement would help prevent the tension from resurfacing.
Keep it simple. What do we want to do differently going forward? What expectations need to be made explicit? What habit, meeting, decision process or working agreement would help us work together more effectively?
The outcome is to create enough clarity that the team can move forward and create the conditions to raise new tensions as they emerge.